Kindness Matters, Be Kind | Monday Musings of Grace

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Happy Monday my friends! It’s been a hot second since I shared a Monday Musings of Grace, but today God laid the topic of kindness on my heart. With all of the judgement, criticism, and negativity in the world, my challenge to you today is to Be Kind. Whether you are the criticizer or the criticized, be kind.

If you’re new to my blog, on Mondays I like to share about different topics that are on my heart. You can read more of my Monday Musings of Grace {HERE}.  You can subscribe below to get access to all my Monday Musings of Grace free printables as well as my DIY guides and project templates.

Kindness Matters

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Recently my son said this well known childhood saying to a friend and for the first time in my life it struck me hard. As he said the words I could see the pain in his eyes, the anguish on his face. It wasn’t true. Words can always hurt you and have more power than we realize.

Words Matter

Your words matter. You have the power to build up or tear down. The power to bring happiness or sadness. To encourage or destroy. Be Kind. One of my favorite verses in the Bible talks about the power of the tongue. James 3 says,

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? – James 3″

The Ways of the World

So why am I talking about this today? Because as someone who has a (very) slightly more public profile than most, I see a lot of criticism, from strangers specifically. I hear a lot of negativity. I witness others who are in my sphere being criticized, torn down and judged for petty and insignificant things. And while I hate hearing about the unkindness they endure, I can’t control it. I can’t stop others from using words to destroy. But I can encourage kindness in response.

To the Criticizer: Be Kind

Do you have a critical spirit? Analyze yourself for a moment. Whether you believe you do or not, it is healthy to take some time for self-reflection every now and then. Perhaps you haven’t always been a critical person. Perhaps you aren’t even a cruel person, but just someone who unintentionally nit-picks or speaks harmful words without thinking first.

God tells us that the fruits of the Spirit are constantly being held in tension with the spirit of the flesh.

The acts of the flesh are obvious…hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy – Galatians 5″

Make a Decision

Often our harshest criticisms are held back for our loved ones. Husbands. Wives. Children.

Make a decision. Do you want to be the type of person who tears down or builds up?

Or are you someone who feels empowered to use critical words towards a stranger?

Make a decision. Do you want to degrade another to build yourself up? Or do you want to show kindness?

Decide what type of person you want to be and take steps to make that happen. I pray that you choose kindness and that you decide to make a difference in this world for the good.

To the Criticized: Respond in Kindness

On the other hand, perhaps you are the victim of unkindness. Think about what your immediate reaction is when others hurt you. Are you defensive? Critical in return? Or perhaps you simply retreat in shame and hurt. Any of these responses are understandable as it is human nature to defend ourselves and to correct unjust criticism. My encouragement today is to Be Kind.

Unkindness begets unkindness. A response of unkindness will only escalate the situation. It only tears down more and never heals. Be unpredictable. Be forgiving and be kind.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind. – Unknown”

Your Response Is All You Can Control

While the actions of others are out of your control, your response is not. It is the one thing that you can control. A kind response is the best thing you can do to stop the crazy cycle of retribution and revenge in this unkind world. Jesus tells us,

You know that you have been taught, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I tell you not to try to get even with a person who has done something to you. When someone slaps your right cheek, turn and let that person slap your other cheek. If someone sues you for your shirt, give up your coat as well. – Matthew 5″

I realized that’s a tall order to expect kindness in response to bitter judgement. However, with God all things are possible. Seek His Spirit and He will give you the ability to be the kind of person Jesus is calling us to be.

Kindness: A Fruit of the Spirit

Have you ever stopped to consider the fruits of the Spirit passed love, joy, and peace? Those three are often the most referred to attributes of a Godly person, but the list goes on.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5″

Consider this: Can you have love, joy and peace without being tolerant, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled? They go hand in hand. You cannot have love while being cruel. You cannot have peace without faithfulness. There is no joy in spewing evil. So the next time you are tempted to respond to unkindness with the same, remember that it will not lead to anything besides more destruction.

There is so much more I would like to say on this topic. Don’t think that I am advocating allowing others to use you as an emotional punching bag. It is healthy and important to set boundaries with harmful people. But for the purposes of today’s post, I will just end by saying,

Be Kind.

{Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12}